Macy McFly

Quoth the Raven

   Raven touched her hand to her face. She looked almost like a cartoon, having only the outline to guide her body.

   She reached down into the reflection. When her fingers hit the water, it separated in an odd dome around her hand, like she was pushing a glass ball into it. She reached farther and farther. No matter how deep into the water she was,there was a shell of air around her outline. This startled Raven, and several fish. She didn’t know what was going on, and didn’t like it.

   Raven’s head ache began to fade, and so she was more aware of her surroundings. Knowing exactly where she was, Raven decided to set off to her house to settle whatever was possible. She stumbled up the hill in her high heels then decided it would be best to venture bare foot, so the shoes came off. With every step, the tall grass separated by itself and with great ease.

   She neared her manor. The outside color had changed from lovely white wood to a dehydrated urine yellow. This disgusted her and persuaded her to run. How long have I been gone? It can’t be possible to survive underwater for more than a minute. This whole day has been a jumble and a blur. I hope I am dreaming.

   She walked up the steps to the large porch, and tried to open the door. Locked. Is Allen trying to keep me away? Raven rapped the door furiously, making loud knocks and red, swollen knuckles. “ALLEN, GET DOWN HERE AT ONCE!” Raven conjured large, frightful words in her head to express her frustration towards him in the most haunting way it could affect a husband.

   Raven knocked louder and louder, and finally the door opened. “Al, I don’t under—”

   But it wasn’t Allen. It was not her husband. At the door stood a petite young woman, wearing odd fashioned clothes for the twenties, and a confused look on her face. Raven tried to think of all the possibilities. This was definitely her house. Her husband built it himself. “I’m sorry, ma’am, maybe you can help settle some confusion,” Raven started. The woman at the door didn’t look her in the eyes. She looked on both sides of the porch and it even seemed she looked through Raven. “You see, this is my house, and I’m afraid I have no idea what is going on right now.” The woman yelled at her husband to trim the branches of the trees near the house, and then shut the door.

   Raven rested against the wall of the house and began to pout and cry. I just need some rest, she thought, what I wouldn’t give to be back in my home. She blinked away a few tears, and then realized she was laying down, half way inside, and half way outside the house.

Quoth the Raven

   Raven woke in a blur. She kept her eyes shut to put off the unavoidable headache that would come with the light. What did I drink? she thought to herself. It wasn’t the first time she’s woken up with a headache and no memory of the night before. She rubbed her temples hard, messing up her short, black bangs. She felt completely weightless. What ever it was, I’ll have to order it again.

   After about 5 minutes of vigorous rubbing, Raven decided that only time could heal the headache. She slowly opened her eyes. Directly in front of her was a very small, very plain fish. I must be hallucinating. I really must try to remember the name of that brandy. She shut her eyes tightly, shook her head, and reopened her eyes. The curious fish was still there, staring intently at her. She decided she was still sleeping. But it looks so real… Raven pinched herself several times, never taking her eyes off the guppy. No change in size, color, shape, or environment.

   “Al,” she called, “what on earth did we do last night!?” As she spoke, bubbles flowed from her mouth into the stream. She began to panic. “AL!” The fish quickly swam away, as Raven began to flail. She gasped for air. She reached the surface, and rolled onto the shore. She wasn’t choking. She wasn’t short of breath. There was no immediate change that she could tell in her health. Raven began to realize where she was. She was startled for many reasons. Who wouldn’t be startled waking in their river, needing no air supplements. What is going on? She walked, calmly, nervously over to the water. She look in, expecting to see her reflection staring back at her. All that was looking back at her was a faint, white outline of what was Raven.

planb-becomeapirate asked: Good but be careful of your mechanics. Your spaces, capitalization, spelling, and grammar mistakes are going to make the reader trip over what they're reading and will pull them out of the moment. Good luck!

Thank you :] I will go back and edit it.

   His body heaved and hovered over her’s like a black shadow. Blood spilled from her lifeless boy. The man gripped the knife so tightly his knuckles lost all color and turned a ghost white. Patiently he waited for her to make any movements. Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes into hours, as time slipped from his conscious brain. He stabbed the woman again for reassurance and security, then tossed her body into the violent, lively waters.

   The lack of Raven’s presence was questioned after the first day. It wasn’t like her at all to stay indoors, not on a nice, sunny, 1928’s summer day. She was always around town and the very life of the party. Time slipped again, and the day turned into weeks. Worry arose, and after much questioning of Al, her ex-husband, he fled, never to be seen of heard from again.